Sunday, September 26, 2010

Eternal day

Cu o noapte inainte de a zbura la L.A. - "I agonized about going, I agonized about not going, I agonized about my agonizing." I was a wreck and a ball of fire, every nerve in my skin coiled and ready to spring. I walked to the departing gate bewildered, tense, excited and full of anticipation. I pushed myself over the edge. And I hated it. I hated myself for breaking the warm fuzzy confines of my reality. I was afraid of the world, of the big bad wolf. I got barely two minutes of intensity and two weeks to relive them. Somewhere in between I woke up to love the cloudless sky, the dissipation of my thoughts, of my exiled identities, of my oncoming quarter life crisis into an ethereal breeze and an eternal sunshine. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind indeed. Somewhere in between I cut my fear in half and each half in thousands and over my crowded mental space where fear once lived I poured gallons and gallons of bleach, labeled forget now forgive later, and spread it deep and long as far as the eye of the mind could see. When the twisted patterns of hurt seeped into the ground, I let it gather in my underground reservoir of love and forgiveness, shut the door tightly and let them work their magic.
Ah yes, this was about Los Angeles. Or was it?
Either way the love affair has only just begun.

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