La vida es asi

De fiecare data cand ascult melodia asta ma cuprinde o nostalgie atat de dureroasa incat nu pot misca. Fiecare vers, fiecare cuvant in spaniola ma rascoleste. Sunt iar sub azurul etern, sufletul vanturat pe franghie in aerul fierbinte, mintea si simturile toate ingenuncheate in fata mirajului sfasietor de care m-am indragostit against my best judgement. Sentimentul unei comuniuni cu spiritul latin care insufleteste si binecuvanteaza locul, in mijlocul senzatiei de dezradacinare si dezmembrare fizica a orasului aparent fara margini, fara centru. Dorinta de excess, de nopti fara somn si zile fara liniste in care sa ma pierd, sa nu mai stiu de mine, sa nu mai stie nimeni de mine. The golden Coast.

Citesc subversiva The History of Sexuality pe metro, dar o ascund sa nu cumva sa fie o interpretare ca sunt deschisa la invitatii deocheate. Ipocrizia.
Din ipotezele inspirate ale lui Foucault:
"...we can distinguish four great strategic unities which, beginning in the eighteenth century, formed specific mechanisms of knowledge and power centering on sex.
1. A hysterization of women's bodies: a threefold process whereby the feminine body was analyzed - qualified and disqualified- as being thoroughly saturated with sexuality; whereby it was integrated into the sphere of medical practices, by reason of a pathology intrinsic to it; whereby, finally, it was placed in organic communication with the social body, the family space and life of children: the Mother, with her negative image of "nervous woman".
2. A pedagogization of children's sex: a double assertion that practically all children indulge or are prone to indulge in sexual activity; ...Parents, families, educators, doctors ... would have to take charge, in a continuous way of this precious and perilous, dangerous and endangered sexual potential: this pedagogization was especially evident in the war against onanism, which in the West lasted nearly two centuries.
3. A socialization of procreative behaviour. [Ce mai e de explicat?]
4. A psychiatrization of perverse pleasure: the sexual instinct was isolated as a separate biological and psychical instinct; a clinical analysis was made of all the forms of anomalies by which it could be afflicted; it was assigned a role of normalization or pathologization with respect to all behaviour and finally a corrective technology was sought for these anomalies. "

Ma consoleaza doar temporar. Pentru ca atunci cand vine momentul, in ciuda tuturor promisiunilor si incordarilor mele nu rezist, cedez intr-un "buna" ca si cand nimic nu s-ar fi intamplat, ca si cand totul ar fi nou ca la inceput. De invatat - lectie de impacare si mai ales consistenta de la a certain someone.